Humor
Humor
Send us a joke - keep it clean!
>The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
GOV'T AGENT: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."
RANCHER: "Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
GOV'T AGENT: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one."
RANCHER: "That would be me."
Bill Martine
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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
Bill Martine___________________________________________________________________________
An 86-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his test results come back normal.
The doctor says, " Gary everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
Gary replies, "God and I are tight.
He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof* the light goes on. When I'm done, *poof* the light goes off."
"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Gary 's wife.
"Marianne, he says, Gary is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof * the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof* the light goes off?"
"OH MY GOD!" Marianne exclaims.
"He's peeing in the refrigerator again!!!!"
Bill Martine